The Lonesome City Blues

Well said, Al. I see it in the faces of my clients and their families as they mourn their lifestyles and their jobs and scramble to find a foothold on their new reality. I’ll suggest they read your work to feel the validation they crave that keeps them from being alone.

Hi Al!

Just a few words to share with you in response to your loss of your job. I am sure you have heard the following “where one door closes another one opens,” which in a way is a blessing for you. Why? You can continue to practice your writing profession which enables you to use your talent in so many ways that many of us envy. Again, let me remind you that the power of your words has affected many of us. They have inspired and encouraged us through humor and insight. Having said that many of us will miss your column but we will continue reading your blog and anything else you may write. Looking forward to your writings. There is no time for Lonesome City Blues with your talent.

Anita

Breathtaking. Literally. As in, I found myself holding my breath, heart striking sad chords of recognition. Beautiful, truthful in its ache.

A bleak but poignant comment on our current situation.

Family always comes first no matter what. Only when you are absolutely sure you want to put on a coat and tie and go someplace, Anyplace do I hope to hear that you are ready to talk.

I can appreciate much of what you’re feeling. You don’t have to miss your job to feel that way. You only have to feel that the world as it presently exists is not your world anymore, and you have less and less power to influence it.

The world is designed to capture the needs and desires of 18 to 49-year-olds. If you’re not in that demographic - another word for discrimination - your values are not acceptable anymore. It used to be that wisdom and experience of older folks were honored and appreciated. But, our greed and groin world is a here-today-and-gone-tomorrow affair. That is why it is in such a mess. It values all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons, and nothing lasts. Present-day society has no meaningful legacy to leave its descendants.

Maybe that’s a good thing. It’s time for us to leave the garbage behind and start over with new and better ways of living. Treasure what there is to treasure, save what it worth saving, and create what will stimulate our children to create. It’s time we stop being dust blowing around in polluted air, and embrace the fullness of our humanity. Our survival depends on it.

Feburay 5, 2009
12:13 P.M.

Harriett Pease
Harriett Pease’s avatar

I do not have the traumatic memories that Al Martinez does and can only empathize as a 82 year old woman who was basically unaware of the depression of the 1930’s. My parents lost the beautiful Denver home I was born in, when the banks were closed in 1933. My father, a sign painter, never lost his job. My uncle got on with the CCC even though he was past the normal age of hire. A WWI vet my uncle was sometimes lost but lived with us and soldiered on thanks to my mother and father. I did my bit in marching with placards for peace, no nuclear proliferation. Rang doorbells, made phone calls for Bradley, Adlai Stevenson, and all the good liberal stuff.
I am a newspaper and news fan and it is beyond disheartening to see what has happened to Al Martinez, a poet of the people, and what has happened to the Los Angeles Times and the demise of so many newspapers around the country. Now the theme with publishers and editors is shrinkage. Firing so many has such a catastrophic effect on those fired. And I do think that men suffer more than women in this regard. By history and by tradition, man is the breadwinner, the protector of the cave. Then the pink slip serves as a castrating weapon that injures the psyche, wounds the soul, and how do they recover from that withut permanent scarring? Shakespeare had it right–”Now in the winter of our discontent.

Well put, Elmer. A morally bankrupt culture is a disease, and I don’t know if we can survive this one. I remember many years ago the Times ran an article about the gobbling up of the media by the few, and showed a world map with assets controlled by Murdoch; it was a scary sight to me, and now it’s down to FOX vs CNN.

Put on a tie and go out and keep on talking to people; someone needs to report what is really happening out there.

Morning Al
A nice rain is falling as I write these words. I was born in Los Angeles 76 years ago. I have always loved the rain but we seem to get less and less of it these days.

I read your Blog and it made me sad. I was angry to learn that the Times had let you go a second time. I really wonder how long the Printed Media will survive in our “Rat Race” society of I Phones and BlackBerrys. I felt your pain of being cast adrift. I can’t offer any words of wisdom or ease your sense of loss. It might not even make you feel better that most people and friends I have known have had different but simular loses.
As we age we enter a world of loses. Relatives, friends, money and jobs.
All of this along with physical decline.

I had spent twenty two years working in the Transit Industry. It was a hobby and a position. I loved my work making bus schedules. Just like the newspaber business is in your blood. Then in 1988 when my partner became terminally ill I decided to retire early so I could be home to help. It was my choice but I really hated to retire at fifty six years old.
I took a big hit in my pension and other benifits but I have never regreted my choice. we had three years of retirement together. Time that I would never have had if I kept on working. We were together for twenty three years. I have lived alone with my dogs since 1991. I have no family but lots of wonderful friends some even going back to High School. I have tried to deal with the cards that I recived.

So all I can say is as time goes by you will realize that you still have much more than you lost. You have your wonderful wife and daughter. They will mean more to you as time passes. You have not lost your writing abiliy so will change directions but will find a new path.

Wishing you the best ahead

Alan Weeks (Eagle Rock)

Good article:
How true. As usual, your articles make me think of the past and present. The past: The lonely feeling after high school graduation when your whole world changes and the people you’ve known and seen almost every day move on. The lucky ones to college and the others to a job at one of the Boeing plants (I went to school in Seattle) or to the service. I went to the Air Force. A pretty much wasted four years except for the growing up part and the “bonehead” english and math courses at the U. of Washington by correspondence to make up for the inner city education.
The present: Retired. Brain still functions in court, but feeling adrift. It’s sad to thing of all the younger unemployed who have mouths to feed and no job. I had the same fear as you when younger — can I feed my loved ones? Worked during the day as a lawyer and got up at three to deliver papers so that my five boys would have what they needed to grow into self supporting productive citizens. The good news is that they’ve all worked themselves through college and two through law school with loans and scholarships. I fret for today’s parents that have trouble just supporting their kids. My CPA son was hear this summer and received word that some of his best friends were let go. Fear!
I felt great joy seeing Obama elected, but now feel fear seeing Congress go back to their irresponsible earmarks and Republicans try to sell tax cuts and lack of regulation as the medicine for our economy. Doesn’t the public see these derivatives for the Ponzi scheme that they are?
Anyhow Al, keep on truckin in lonesome city. We’re not through yet.

Bob

Al,
Thanks so much for your quick reply. I now have you “bookmarked” along with other valuable people and orgs. I enjoyed reading your “Life, love, lust and lunacies from the Bard of Topanga” even though it was a bit morbid.Maybe you have been listening to too much of “Gloomy Sunday.”

Jerry Feldner
Tempe, AZ

A terrific essay which captures the new world we are living in.

Somehow, I expected things to get better post-Bush. Certainly none of us expected this. I think part of the solution is to just stay connected with other people, not to question our own self-worth, and continue to try to make a difference every day.

I want to thank you for the laughter, tears, and insight that you have provided me over the years that you wrote for the “LA-goddamn-Times”. Although I do not match you in years, my husband and I have had some experiences similar to yours: being pushed out of a job because of age (my husband at 62) or because of costing too much (two new teachers could be hired for what I was being paid) or because of philosophical differences (I was too “mean” to the students who resented my asking them for their best). I, too, at just 60, often feel marginalized by those same cultural changes that distress you. But I have found over the last four years of various challenges to our family that include those mentioned above and more, that I have the strength to get though and sometimes past them. And I will pray that you and your family will also find the strength to get through your daughter’s illness.
Thank you again and please keep writing your blog for all of us “disenfranchised”.

Found you!! I had been watching Almartinezeverythingelse.blogspot.com and nothing new was showing up. Finally I googled you and found http://almartinez.
org/wordpress/ and there you were, with some new stuff. Yay! Just as wonderful
as ever. If I were a writer, I’d ask to join your new workshop, but I”m not (not that I know of anyway). But it’s wonderful that you’re conducting it; what a
plus for the lucky aspiring writers.

Looking forward to finding you again and again.

Your fan,
Esther Cameron

You may be unemployed, but you certainly haven’t lost a step at the keyboard. As a free-lance lighting technician in the TV/film biz, I’ve become accustomed to periods of unemployment. Indeed, I think I went into this sort of work to avoid having a “real” job — meaning steady employment in which each year was subdivided into 52 discreet units of time, the vast majority of which would be owned by my boss. Lacking any real responsibilities in life, I liked the uncertain rhythms of free-lance work, and all that time off.

Now thirty+ years older, I still like the time off, but am no longer quite so fond of staring into the great yawning abyss of uncertainty. I’m at the age where there are a lot more younger, faster, and stronger men on those film crews, and in such a physical line of work, that means a lot. Lamps that I used to lift by myself now require another pair of hands. Now, when a job ends, I can no longer be sure another will come along.

If one lives long enough, I suppose he or she gets to see it all, and although I missed the first Depression, it looks like I’ll get my turn at hard times after all. I’d feel a lot better about that if I had those thirty years back — youth and strength can get you through tough times a lot better than gray hair, aching knees, and a tired back. But we plal the cards we’re dealt, and play them I will.

Our circumstances are not the same, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and wondering myself of late. Deciding? Not yet.

Great column.

No wonder I have not been able to find your columns in the LA Times. It was the only reason I went to that part of the paper. Guess It’ll be just the comics now. lol. I am glad you have a blog and will check in to read. Please keep us posted on Cindy’s progress.

An interesting but longstanding issue relates to the Tarski theme displaying “no comments” when the comments count is zero. Do visitors think comments are closed? I decided to write a post about it. Hope it helps!

http://tonytrainor.com/journal/2009/03/do-you-really-want-no-comments-on-your-blog/

As usual , your thoughts are clear and concise and resonate deeply .

We miss you ! .

-Nate

To lose a job is an unique experience…only those who have gone through this odyssey before us understand the isolation and loneliness that tag along unemployment.
But losing a job is also a tremendous opportunity to look into ourselves and see that we are more than the jobs and positions we hold, that the occupations we so cherish often take us away from looking at life with wider eyes and broader understanding.
Jobs can be very greedy.
Good positions often requires heavy spiritual payments…

Unemployment does heightens the senses.
Every time I got unemployed I developed an incredible awareness about life and my role as a social agent of change; I learned to have a job and a healthy life outside of it, learned strategies to keep at bay the greedy ways of having more tasks and more money and less time…and learned to really enjoy being.

We should be able to allow the job and what it entails go away without taking our soul with it…

Be optimistic. You have your mental faculties intact and as long as you are physically able bodied life is good. Exercise and use your time for deeper introspection. You have the opportunity to step out of your learning comfort zone and explore new vistas !!! I look forward to reading more of your writings.

Hi Al:
I just got laid off a day before my 59th birthday in February. This is the third time I am going through the “process”. It sure isn’t my first rodeo. I have learned not to feel isolated. The journey may be longer this time but I have grown familiar to the signposts along the road. It takes a lot of the fear away.

Ten years ago, while watching a World War I documentary showing people marching in a victory celebration, I just came to realize the obvious. All those people are now dead and my world is also marching on to its conclusion. I believe we live in parallel worlds, existing side by side. I don’t know when my world will end. I just try to enjoy each day watching the younger worlds make the same journey behind me.

Thank you for a wonderful blog

Jack Congson
Toronto, Canada

I am in my 60’s and have worked all my life. I lost my job almost a year ago and have experienced all these feelings….I plan to work again and know it is a matter of time….for now, I try to take each day at a time and know that for me, my dependence is not on the economy, or a job, but on what some people today want to call a “higher power”…. In the meantime, be grateful for what you do have, your family, friends…and the time to ponder and enjoy each day as it comes….think of why we are where we are and what we are to learn from it..DL

I have been unemployed for a year. I was a contract recruiter and like the canary in the coal mine, started having trouble breathing in March of 2008. Many in my business are out of work. Because I worked remotely from a home office for about 1/2 of my career, I am less affected by isolation. Esteem attached to being valued by an employer, however has been bruised. Because I am 61 and I do not see my career coming back before my mid 60’s, I am feeling the pangs of a major transition forced by a career that retired me before I was ready.
I, like you, am not in need. My spouse is employed and we have a cushion. What I do not have is a guidebook for the next 5 to 10 years. I have plunged myself into writing, an avocation for many years. Working on a book, a blog and volunteering with a community theater keeps days as busy as ever. But what is missing is feeling that I am a part of a larger group of “productive” individuals. When I feel bad about that, I look at how little American workers actually produce. We make money with money, a shell game at best. We ’service” people who have borrowed or invested money. Other than farmers, there are fewer actual producers in this country than there are those who service.
Perhaps that is the key to living well now: understanding that stepping off the sidewalk can mean we will be able to work with meaning and mindfulness. We are no longer caught up in an economic game meant to keep alive a charade that we are important, but actually designed to keep us on the sidelines. For me stepping onto the lawn also means that I will rejoin my generation of activists and attempt to wrest away some of the power from the machinery. I imagine a growing number of people who will fight attempts to continue the economic model of greed and trickle down. I do believe that those of us on the bench will find each other and begin to value the real contribution of each individual and through that contact create new forms of economy and commerce.

I haven’t worked in 19 months. I had little invested in the job I lost. I strive to live a purposeful life by living. I have me wife, my family, enough money, friends, understanding and my humor, which sometimes ranks first in keeping perspective. Purpose is the moment and purposeful is the moments connected. I look less at the big picture to focus more on the moment, I feel better doing so and I see reality better.
My friend lost his job two months ago. He had a lot invested in the job. He laughs far less. He has a wife, family, enough money, friends…. I hope he finds focus and purpose. He is eight years younger than I am. I will begin my social security this August.

Dear Mr. Martinez,

I have spent the last three year trying to find common threads between the chronically ill/disabled, the chronically unemployed, and the generally disenfranchised.

Specifically, why they (we)…
disappear.

Thank you for your insightsl
The best of luck to you.

Annie Tucker RN

Good afternoon,

I am writing to invite you onto 1370 Connection, a radio program that broadcasts out of Rochester, NY.

We are putting together a show on the effects unemployment has on the individual, and your column, “The Lonesome City Blues” speaks vividly to that effect.

The show airs Monday through Friday, 12 to 2. The segments run an hour. We would appreciate any time you can contribute to our discussion.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Katie Conroy
585-797-5983

I pursued my dream (despite formidable obstacles) and became a psychotherapist. I have enjoyed my 20 plus year career. I was always passionate about my work. It was never a job to me but a calling. I never got out of bed in the morning although I needed it to support myself. My last job was as a Victims’ Advocate in the Homicide Unit of a police department. I LOVED my work and my skills were a perfect fit for the job. I was harrassed by my supervisor, a police sergeant, anf then fired because he thought that I had called an old boyfriend. Unfortunately, all of this coincided with the crashing of the economy. Now I am not only unemployed but disillusioned (yes, I had thought that the police were heroes) and enraged. My finances are ruined (I have been sued recently by two credit card companies). I have never been sued before in my life. My credit is ruined and I fear that I will never have work again that I love, Did I mention that I will be sixty-three in April? This is not how I imagined spending my latter years. I am trying to hang in there but I have days when the deprssion is palpable.

I’m sorry but need to edit. I meant to say that I never got out of bed in the morning because of the money although I needed it to support myself. My passion for my work is why I got out of bed every morning. Sorry.

I was recently divorced and my youngest daughter had just moved out of the house when I was laid off from my career of ten years as an information technology specialist. This was only my second job loss in 27 years in IT. I had lots of time, no responsibilities, a nice severance package - and, it turns out, no skills for dealing with life. After a few months of looking for work I discovered that the software and hardware that I had spent a lifetime getting to know so intimately were no longer in use - and I had no degree, everything I knew I learned on the job. I had used work, and competence and success there, as a screen for poor skills in human interaction. — One day at one of my volunteering gigs, passing out fliers at a club to publicize an event, I was so uncomfortable around all the people I didn’t know I decided to have one drink “to take the edge off”. That night I had twelve drinks, didn’t complete my volunteering assignment and barely made it home. I proceeded to stay drunk for most of the next year and was finally arrested for driving while intoxicated (I was actually passed out at the wheel at a stop light when they pulled me out of the car). I ended up with no money and homeless. After court-mandated alcohol and drug training I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and the state re-educated me as an administrative assistant - those two programs helped me reintegrate with society and gave me enough self esteem to find work. — I think there are a lot of people out there who are like I was, holding things together with emotional chewing-gum and baling wire, and when the bottom falls out in our work life, the rest can come unglued. I was lonely and abused as a child, lonely and addicted as a teenager and young adult, lonely and abused in my marriage. My best times were mothering my two daughters, which was enough for a very long time. When the girls were gone and work was taken away, there was no axis for me to spin around and I flew crazily out of orbit. — I am just now starting therapy and going to Adult Child of Alcoholics meetings, and it is helping me discover just how much disfunction in my personal life I was able to overcome by being somewhat competent in school and work. Loneliness was in some ways there throughout my life as I had a hard time connecting with adults, but working seems to have made it bearable. — Thanks for the opportunity to comment. Take care, Trish — Patricia S., Jamaica Plain, MA

Your column describes with power the loneliness and desolation I first felt when I lost my technical job with Intel Corporation almost 3 years ago. I was never driven as you describe to be the very best and to just keep producing. But I was driven to vie for the respect of my peers and a modicum of notice and to do it without sacrificing integrity or demanding credit. Over time, the last 2 made me a poor Intel employee and it became clear that I couldn’t stay there any longer. I left of my own accord when I became ill and refused to be diagnosed by everyone as Bi-polar, todays designer disease that would have ensured me paid medical leave for a long while. I changed doctors, went through a complete physcical with the new doctor and was quickly and easily diagnosed with a very underproductive thryoid. Within 3 months of the diagnosis, the synthroid was adjusted properly and I was my old, healthy, energetic (ran for 30 years), ready to work self. But, at 55, those in the hiring positions seemed not interested.

But it’s not a sad ending. I’m still struggling to find steady employment or to learn to be satisfied with temporary employment. I’ve reinvented myself from a 25 year career as a programmer to a substitute teacher. My husband (retired, and we’ve lost much of our 30 year savings in the stock market. We were “millionaires” in 2000. Now we have less than a quarter of that) and I spend more time together than ever, my ears hear different strains of music, my eyes are more sensitive to color, and I’ve learned to love the freedom and time to think about what I’m doing. I’ve even learned to enjoy eating as cheaply as we can and NOT buying things we don’t need. Interestingly, I am comfortable with the idea that by struggling (and, like you, we have a home, food, enough…) we are not isolated but FINALLY of the world’s majority.

Lovely column.

I live just across the pond in London, England and what you have just relayed transcends borders. - I could concur.

I’ve just taken a year off from work and have now found myself brought back, with a sickening jolt to the challenging task of finding a job in this sorry state of affairs we call our world.

Thank you for reinforcing that it is an oddly isolating experience and i’m not going mad indeed. Others feel it too. Like yourself its a first to be in this position. Sometimes it takes for us to learn these lessons first hand so that we might be more empathetic to others if they should experience the same. It’s a good time for personal 1:1. Digging deep. Discovering who we REALLY are, what we want to be and do. Everything…Everything happens for a reason.

If it helps any, Oprah recently had a fabulous guest on Marcus Buckingham and if readers go to http://www.Oprah.com they have generously offered a free workshop to assist people through that transition. People are making big changes and taking big strides. Do the work you really love. - I add that I have no affiliation with either party.

Just wanted to say thank you to you Al for the beautiful article. You are a master of words. Each one like a drop of golden honey. Sweet pleasure. What a gift. The universe may well have just bestowed a gift to you now. Being the communicator you are - perhaps you are more aptly well placed to help people through this time, more than you could have before if you were on the other side of the desk.

Alicia - London, England

This essay moves me and reminds me of how I felt when I was laid off nearly six years ago.

I, too, felt the loneliness and rejection. I felt like an outcast. This feeling was intensified as some of my former colleagues started acting like I had a very contagious disease.

I liked this column. Too often we focus on the financial impacts of unemployment, and forget or ignore that there is an emotional toll as well. Part of it is the physical isolation from former co-workers; the workplace remains a key forum for social interaction. But to me it’s deeper than that — perhaps our sense of purpose and identity are wrapped up in the work that we do. Do you think it is worse in today’s career-driven culture, or is this an intrinsic human characteristic that has always been there?

This is a touching and insightful entry. I am hoping our country makes a speedy economic recovery, but I also hope during this down season that we are thinking about where we’re going, not just limping along hoping everything goes back to the way it was before.

This acticle is so relivant, at this time I wish more people could read it. I am jobless at a time when I need work, to take care of my children. I have no reserves in the bank, and is in another country trying to help myself.
Being overcome by the feelings of inadequacy, and loneliness without my family is a living hell. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, and not being sure of your status in other lands does not make for a healthy environment.
You are in a land, all your own, with no one to help you, or speak with you. Limited resources, doesnot help the situation.
I am feeling that i have let my kids down, and that there is no way out, of this situation, even when I am trying to help myself.

Hi Al
Musings like this are why I miss your column in The Times. (Are they crazy to lose you, or what?) As a freelance magazine writer, I can surely relate to your predicament. I,too, have watched the world change; the written word devalued. My outlets have dried up, disappeared. Since I’m self-employed, I have no severance or unemployment. My income just slowed down, then stopped. Doesn’t it feel like this journalist crumbling happened overnight? Like one day there were magazines and newspapers and writers. And one day, they all went away.

I’ve always been somewhat ahead of my time, imagined things a computer could do, just before that came out (like the internet). So I guess it wasn’t unlikely that I’d lead the pack being fired for the first time in 1994, which was the year I turned 55. I’d been successful working at a hospital where I taught childbirth education classes each weekday night, and worked nights (11pm-7am) in the OB department every other weekend, and also when things were busy after I’d finished my class, other nights. It came as a shock, but I figured some other nurses wanted to teach the classes, and I’d made a request to switch shifts after 6 years there, on night duty.

Not daunted, I got another job I liked better, and was just hitting my stride as the National Director for prenatal education, with the introduction of umbilical cord blood stem cell preservation. After just 6 months I was fired. I’d done my job well, hired 48 area coordinators who were also eminent childbirth educators, in 30 states and gave many presentations about stem cell preservation’s advantages, trained all the area coordinators, and was a resource for them. I was mystified, until it became clear that although the company had denied it, they wanted a hard hitting pharmaceutical representative kind of person. So OK, that wasn’t my idea of ethical. But they hadn’t suggested that I take that approach…..

After about 5 more jobs bit the dust, I despaired and examined my dilemma, until a friend who owned her own business with her husband told me about their situation regarding Blue Cross, their health insurance provider for their company. About 20 years ago, when her husband reached 55 years of age, they were told that they would be charged $1,000/month extra for the premium for his health insurance. There was no other reason given, except his age. He was in good health. All 30 of their employees were considerably younger. They paid that for 10 years.

Then her husband turned 65, and he was told by their Blue Cross agent that Medicare could not be his primary insurer, and an additional $2,500./month would be added to the premium for them to continue the policy. Rather than change insurance companies, the husband retired, leaving their son in his place. He worked as a consultant.

So I began to realize what happened to my employment. Except for the first time, I was dismissed after I’d filled out the application for health insurance where I worked, each time. That application required that I write my birth date, and was handled by human resources.

I look younger (really) than my age, and having a lot of experience and being good at interviews, I acquired practically each job for which I interviewed. Orientation to many different positions was getting very old, however. Camelian-like, I adapted to each new situation but dreaded the time health insurance would be mentioned. I did try to refuse to apply, but was told that I had to do that.

Age discrimination isn’t easy to prove, I was told by a labor lawyer I wanted to hire, and I didn’t have enough cash to keep up my mortgage payments and the up front deposit with him.

My ex-husband took the liberty then, of diminishing the spousal support he’d agreed to pay, and he has been in contempt of court many years now. That made further financial inroads on my cash flow, with the result that I refinanced my mortgage and had one of the sub prime miseries from World Savings, which was bought by Wachovia, which was bought by Wells Fargo.

My divorce lawyer died suddenly some years ago. No family law attorney wants my case, as they prefer the beefy brand new kinds of cases that pay more up front. Maybe when more divorcing couplkes choose to remain married, due to the daunting financial consequences of divorce, a lawyer will get the back support….. or at least get my ex to pay what he should. I’m not holding my breath.

With all the drama taking my energy, and feeling more and more isolated from the working world and my peers, I became ill for 3 years, further distancing myself from the working world. I moved to VA to be closer to my daughter and her family, but medical care here is a problem. First, no physicians would take a new patient on Medicare…….

So I moved back to California and got another job, which ended the same way the others had. I’d sold my home in the North Bay near San Francisco for that one and moved to the central coast area, where I’d been before losing the first job, and bought a condo there. I also had one in VA, which is in a community with the Homeowners Association from Hell! So I couldn’t put that one for rent.

So I went back to VA to get that one ready to sell, when I got sick again, the economy hit bottom, and the value of both condos plummeted. With so many other people losing their lifelong jobs, I don’t feel quite as alone, but now I can’t sell either property. I’m praying for a modification of my mortgage, but Freddy and Fannie are’nt my companions in misery. So it’s back to option 1 on my Pick a Payment, with 3 times the difference between that payment and Option 3 (principle and interest) being added to the principle monthly…..

Help me, Barack Obama, I’m sinking! And I got a call about flooding in my garage in CA.

Dear Al,

Hmmm..if you’re anything like your photo, you’re probably of retirement age and just haven’t come to grips with the need to let the kids do the leg work while you do the head work. Sure, you miss colleagues, sources, meetings (my husband was a journalist, then a college professor, so I know) and the camaraderie that goes with it.

Give yourself a year or two. Keep doing the freelance stuff you enjoy. Enjoy the blogging. Soon you’ll discover things you either never realized were there or didn’t think you had time or interest for. At worst, go the local grade school and tell them you’d like to read or, more important for you, write with a child or group of children for whom expression does not come easily. They will grow faster and you will reap rich rewards.

If that’s not enough, find a program near you through Proliteracy America which teaches English as a Second Language. Whether individually or in a group, you have invaluable writing skills to share with them that will promote self-expression and also give them a “leg up” toward citizenship.

Yes, I’m a dedicated volunteer and I do both the things I suggest. They are very good for preventing crying in one’s beer. I hate to see anyone ruin good beer.

Oh, yes, and why don’t you try that radio gig? Who knows? It might even be fun.

Bubbiesue in Wisconsin

Hi Al,

Your blog entry spoke vividly to me as I am also faced with a similar situation. I also know that the greatest blessings enter our lives in disguise. I felt compelled to share this link with you: http://www.kabtoday.com/epaper_eng/content/view/epaper/8403/(page)/7/(article)/8422
I hope it peaks your attention. A goal in life does not always have to come in the form of a career.

Take care,

-Veronica

Thank you for continuing your work online here. This post (column?) is the best expression of the displacement and isolation of joblessness I have read.

A thoughtful piece, thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve been without work for quite a while and can relate to some of what you describe. I commend you for staying engaged in life by choice even if it’s not required by financial necessity.

FYI - I found your blog via a link at NY Times health blog “Well” at http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/

the old saying “without work there is no reason to dream - without dreams there is no reason to work” seems fitting to this stage of life I am in.

Layed off at 64, gee was age an issue???? I rather think so.
was it the fact my salary had risen to the point it had… of course it was.
Why else would an employee of 12 years with top performance ratings every year be one of those selected to be “layed off”.

So that leaves me being too old to compete in the bare minimum of jobs that are out there. Now what? With your purpose gone and your ability to support yourself, you feel the feelings you descibed hanging over you like a suffocating blanket each and every day.

Volunteering gets you out of the house, but it doesn’t pay the bills.
These are the “golden years”?