Up Paula’s Nose & Other Stories

“wearing my pants low enough to expose half of my behind” conjures up a hairy image. Columnists introduce new words to me, while newspapers don’t write over 5-grade level to make reading easier. Newspaper stories require the attention span of more than a minute to read, therein their problem. TV news covers the same story within that minute, cutting information to nouns and verbs, unless the broadcaster goes off script, using innumerable “basically” and “actually.”

In addition to “insiders say” is “it was thought.” Last night and for most of today the LA Times story on the Pardo murders said “it was thought to be” the largest number of mass murders in Los Angeles this year.

It was not specified who thought that, nor was it explained why the LA Times would be (evidently) unaware of other local mass murders.

But then, I am not an expert on the mechanics of major newspapers.

Al, another wonderful dose of humor to lighten the coming of 2009! Love the new pictures of you and Joanne. Hope you had a good Christmas and give my love to your wonderful wife. Hope happiness and good health follow you into the new year.

Fran

I always enjoy anything you write. Haven’t visited your blog lately because of the holidays and various physical problems we have had to deal with. I do want to get your book about your dog. My husband is not much of a reader but someone gave him “Marley and Me” and he read every word. I will have to get him yours. Keep up the good work and I will always be a loyal supporter. Thanks for everything!

So nice to finally see a picture of Cinelli (and to learn her real first name - though I’m partial to Cinelli truth be told). Have to admit it - I read the Manchester Guardian and the Evening Standard several times a week (on-line of course) but every once in a while … (and I’m not English {Irish and Scottish American through and through}) I do surreptitiously visit “New of the World” for the gossip rag it is… (though most of the time I have no idea who they’re talking about !)
Keep the Faith Elmo

Not to make you nervous, but, if your old DI finds out, you are in big trouble.
Love to you and your wife.
Semper Fi.
Jack

Al, I am as sad as you at the seemingly demise of the well thought out column/journal. We certainly have had a dumb -ing down of America…Due to television, the web, and our collective worship of thiness, sexuality, mayhem, and Rupert Murdoch….quick fixes all, for our young people do not have the patience nor inclination to read, judge, and interpret. I am an admittedly newspaper junkie…..the L.A. Times and now the Union Tribune since I moved to San Diego….every day. But I feel we, the older generation, bare some responsibility for raising this generation of “know nothings” dedicated to shallow self gratification. We have three children, our two daughters each have university degrees, our son has three, BA, MA, PhD…..and they don’t read newspapers! So much for education….I am a high school drop out, but always passionately devoted to print….just as was my emigrant father. It just may be that we are bucking a powerful tide that we have very little control over….pity, they won’t know what they have missed. ……Me the dinosaur dad @79 years

RE: “I have assumed the slouch and cool disdain of today’s young men, wearing my pants low enough to expose half of my behind and a T-shirt emblazoned with a series of suggestions of what you can do if you don’t like it.”

LOL!

Now THAT’S a sight I’d pay to see. ;-D

Oh, please, no more vampires! I read Charlaine Harris’s 8-part (I think) series and said I was “so done” with these bloodsuckers. Then my niece recommended Elizabeth Kostova’s “The Historian,” and now I’m hooked on Vlad the Impaler, though I am so confused I don’t know which character is speaking. I am not only “done, ” I am also “numb.” Who wants to screw like a vampire, anyway? And why?

I am so happy your blog is in jest! Please don’t change your style. Your readers don’t care what the “younger” reader wants. (I bet you have plenty of “younger” readers too) We want you to continue entertaining us with your usual wit and intelligence. One never knows what your column will be about, that is part of the fun. Keep it up forever!!!!
Your faithful reader, Rosalie
( I saw some of the above mentioned headlines at the store, and I still cannot figure out who buys that stuff._

A fine kettle of fish these secularists have launched from their loins, don’t you think? Values my Friend! Values!

They’re fun to look at in the grocery check-out line, but I wouldn’t spend a cent on any one of them. I sure hope the newspapers can hold it together–I can’t function without the Times and the Daily News.

Mamie Van Doren’s breasts! You got my attention. I’ve often wondered how she’s aged. Back in my USMC days there was a fellow in our barracks who had us believing she was corresponding with him. Of course she did turn out for the Melvin Miller at Oceanside stunt (Marines brought stranger from Peoria for winter vacation).

So you are accepting the role or title of Curmudgeon. Excellent! I never cared for wine or champagne, but I offer a metaphor thus: Al, there is a fine line between champagne and vinegar. You are still on the champagne side. Mellowed etc. etc.

A great blog. I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s sad to watch the newspaper business
going to hell, especially the recent bankruptcy filing by the Times and Chicago Tribune. I grew up in Chicago in the 1940s and remember it well. My far-right
high school journalism teacher used to hold it up to the class as an example of what a newspaper should be.

I would like to see you turn your eagle eye on the budget mess in Sacramento and how the public schools are getting shafted. Where is all the lottery money going? If my aging memory is correct, some of it was to be used for education.

All the best in 2009.

I think what killed the rags was the continued political slanted sensationalism — inventing politically correct situations and disregarding the facts. Morality doesn’t count but feel-good does. So you printed your opinions and feel-goods until nobody reads what you write. You could have kept your readership if you had reported the facts on topics that we ordinary Americans feel are important.

It’s not the horrible tragedies in Zimbabwe or the thugs who run the country that get reported on, it’s a “flutter of hope”… “but more fear than joy” of two pregnant Zimbabwean girls. On page 6 in a 3″ column at the bottom of the page an article on how China is raping Tibet. Not reported –Whites fear for their lives in South Africa as land-grabbing is going the way of Zimbabwe. You liberal guys think it’s “just desert” for the whites.

Where’s the press when Fannie and Freddie executives along with congress fucked us people as we’ve never been fucked before. The press holds back the facts because the CEOs of both concerns were black, and the main congressional players — Dodd and Franks — are democrats. You might offend a minority.

You and I will be the only ones reading this blog. I’ll read it to remember an asshole who felt proudly about his part in getting us in this mess, and continues to do his part in dumbing down us stupid citizens.

Moderation? Are you culling undesirable emails?

What a lovely ending to the Christmas weekend. Thanks so much for you timely words…I can always count on you to say it truly. I do so enjoy your columns every Monday and the Blog is an extra special treat. Thanks and my best for the New Year.

Not sure even the tabloids are safe. It’s gotta be getting tougher and tougher for them to compete with “Breaking News every hour on the hour !”. Or, “You tape it, we’ll play it - no questions asked !”.

Wicked, and funny. But nothing beats a newspaper, ( that’s news, comics and your column, not in any special order) to read over breakfast. Not those other racy rags. Keep writing. Hope you had a special holiday, and a good 2009.

Hey Al
Wonderful knack of swirling words around to heighten our suspicions of the probable collapse of the general public’s mind - due to tabloid fatigue!

Here’s my musical account of the sub prime housing scam:
SUB PRIME LOAN
words © Fred Starner 2008 (Tune BOLL WEAVIL)

The first time I saw the bold lender, he had a smile upon his face
The next thing I remember I was in a state of grace!
I was lookin’ for a home, got a sub prime loan, loan loan
Lookin’ for a home, got a sub prime loan

But a few months later, I got a little note
Adjustable interest rates … -gave me a jolt!

So we scrimpted and scraped , worked overtime too,
Monthly payments doubled, what else could we do?

Then the recession worsened, it never rains it pours!
I got a pink slip, ‘ was sent out the door.

Then I saw those bailouts, big money for the banks
Billions to FANCY PANTS, the rich were pulling rank!

It was hard pimpin’ hard hard liftin’ that’s the story here
We got kicked in the ass, bankers got egg in their beer!

So now the sheriff is comin’ and he don’t give a damn
We’ll be dining frequently with ketchup on our spam!

If anyone should ask you “who is was wrote this song?”
Tell him it was a sucker who’s kicked out of him home and gone!

As always, your column puts into words so many of my thoughts. I just love the headlines of the supermarket tabloids and hope that the checker takes a long time with the “guests” ahead of me so that I can absorb them all and ponder. Sometimes, if I don’t have ice-cream that’ll melt, I look for a longish line so that I might even peek inside to get to the real story!!!!!! The LA Times is certainly not changing to maintain its readership. Smaller is not better for those of us who actually enjoy the rustling of pages turning. Last Wednesday’s food section was 4 pages. To sips of coffee and I was finished and not satisfied. Perhaps with a new administration and the hope of a better economy, the paper will gain advertising dollars and be able to regain worthy columnists and reporters. Until then……….
Happy and healthy New Year to you and Cinelli
Lorri Spiegel

As usual, a brilliant piece of writing. I always look forward to ‘another’ blog.

Thank you for the amusing take on the latest bizarre trends in the ever- struggling newspaper battle for survival. Foir some reason the old-fashioned concept of “good taste” seems to have died (somewhere around 1980, I think).
.
While I’m far from prudish, having been (in my time) a photographer’s model, go-go dancer, and painter of nude models, I find the current news cycle’s consistent bottomfeeder tabloid-like emphasis on the sensational has become downright boring. Feels more like the idea is to write more outlandish speculation/rumor (not bothering to confirm any of the information or question one’s sources, of course!) just to get the public’s diminished attention span.

Somehow I can’t help but think that not much good came come from spewing out such questionable material onto newsprint. But then as a wise person once said, “One can never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the general public, eh?

well? I guess that says it all? (the insiders say)me.

Yes, I had noticed that your column was lighter in tone these last few months. I read them anyway, but didn’t think they were your best work - except technically.

It is silly to think that those who not only don’t read, but can’t read will suddenly pick up The Times and make it a daily habit. Their texting, with its abbreviated language is the best they can do. That way they can disguise the fact that they are not really literate. Regular emails from most people are so bad, it’s nothing more than graffiti.

The Times IS getting worse. They’ve sacrificed the book reviews and other sections, but added a worthless Sunday section called Image. All one has to do with it is look at the creepy pictures. Even the Opinion page has become noticeably smaller.

The bottom line is, not everything works well on the Internet, and reading the news is one of them. Who would have saved an ink-jet print copy of the November 5th LA Times front page of Obama’s election? In addition to the regular subscribers, The Times must have sold at least a million reprint copies. History does not exist in a vacuum. When society starts to love and respect itself again, and tries to be the best that it can be, sex and money will be put back in their proper places - and that will be real news to write about!

Al, I always enjoy your wit and cynicism! Would you please post a photo of you
in those new low rise pants of yours. That’s something I’d like to see. Maybe next week you could pose with your posse too! If you crave a dose of the erudite, come visit us at figurespace.com
Your friend and former neighbor, Kate

I love your truthfulness. You’re my hero. Happy New Year. Jackie

Al: I must admit that I sneak a peek at these types when checking out of the food store. Sadly, they thrive and the LA Times does not.

My brother-in-law sends us your columns on a regular basis - we can’t get enough! I thought that with your writings and workshops you are really giving readers a full menu. I would love to take part in the workshops, but Western Montana is a bit of a commute.
You have given me access to my childhood via Angel City Press. My happiest memories are when my dad ran the then Texaco station on Wilshire and New Hampshire in the ’40’s. The book “Wilshire Boulevard” from ACP has the only photos I have found of that station, and I have tried all sorts of archives.
Thanks for your insights, and for making life a little more fun!

Al: Thankyou for sending me your latest blog. You start my day with such a
joy. I look forward to your Monday column in the Times with great expectancy. (Is that word too long for you?)
Also thankyou for the picture of Cinelli, whom I can now picture when you mention her in said columns.
I hope you both had a great Christmas and will have a bright New Year.
Keep in touch.
Marion Steveson

Al,
Thanks for putting me on the list. Give Cinelli my love and to you both, a healthy, happy and safe 2009.
G Bless,
Joe

Al

This article was hilarious. Keep it up.

Happy , Healthy New Year

Murdock

You tell it like it is! Keep it up, don’t let the CEO’s dictate who, what, when, why, etc. in your writings. Keep it up with your total disdain to the way things are going. Someone has to open the eyes of the general public.

Dear Elmer, I ALWAYS love your columns and your blog. Now if you want to write another original column, you can visit a bunch of middle aged and older folks (and a very few youns ‘uns) at the California Rare Fruit Growers meetings. We hold them on the 4th Saturday of January, March, May, July, September and Nevember at the Sepulveda Garden Center,
16633 Magnolia Blvd. Encino, California, at 10:00 a.m.
I don’t know who our guest speaker will be in January, but I can promise that he/she will be interesting and informative.

Al…aint it a shame! We’re a couple of octengenarians who bemoan the passing of good taste. I swore when the Times started advertising on the front page, i would give it up…but breakfast and newspaper waits for no man! Your writing is one of the few good things remaining. Warmly, Ellis

Dear Elmer, I ALWAYS love your columns and your blog. Now if you want to write another original column, you can visit a bunch of middle aged and older folks (and a very few youns ‘uns) at the California Rare Fruit Growers meetings. We hold them on the 4th Saturday of January, March, May, July, September and Nevember at the Sepulveda Garden Center,
16633 Magnolia Blvd. Encino, California, at 10:00 a.m.
I don’t know who our guest speaker will be in January, but I can promise that he/she will be interesting and informative. As publicity chairman for the Los Angeles chapter of CRFG, I can guarantee you a hearty welcome and a batch of new characters to get acquainted with. You can also bring along your beautiful care taker, Cinelli. After the meetings there is always a ‘tasting table’ with marvelous fruits, desserts, coffee, tea, and other stuff.. All free, of course!

Just keep on writing what you feel, and what you have felt, for years. Your fans love it your no-nonsense comments on whatever. Don’t pay attention to anyone’s opinion, including mine, if it doesn’t gel with yours. That’s the wonderful gift of being over 60. You can tell the whole kit and kaboodle (whoever that is) to go &*%$ themselves.

I laughed my buttocks off.
Seriously, maybe the younger generations who have been entranced by Obama will find the need to join with the rest of the human race in understanding and dealing with some of the serious problems we face. Maybe the economic implosions will also aid this process by hitting home. And home again is where we may find them. There is hardly any incentive these days to grow up before you are 35 or 40, and each generation of kids (a generation now takes about five years. High schoolers sneer at the ancient attitudes of college students) feels the need to develop a secret language and perhaps a secret handshake or other ways of physically touching people. The proliferation of digital stages certainly allows for the fracturing of society. Maybe fear and hope can bring us somewhat together again.

Additional comment: Maybe what we have been lacking is genuine heroes, and so we are taking up with celebrities. Or at least the young have been. What else is there? Our present President could be a hero only for a band of thugs. Sports figures snort money. Entertainment figures are as shallow as the roles they assume inside and outside the media. Maybe Obama is the first potential hero we have in the midst of the swamp of dishonesty and greed.
The newspapers are not kind to possible heroes. I look at some of my heroes. Jack Kevorkian had quite a bit of negative press. Not much of any these days. Schweitzer and Camus are gone. Colbert is on a short leash. Intellectual and moral courage are honored by inattention. Good examples are hard to find and hold up for admiration. Bad examples abound. Maybe that is what my life has been for so far.

When will the 9-year-old boy fascination with sex run its course? When will this generation reallize that not everyone hangs on this natural activity with baited breath? When will they realize that art, music (real) and literature exist as interests long after the hormones quiet down? One can only hope, soon.

Dumbing down the print press is no long term solution. But relevant commentaries by good writers might help. There is no good replacement for good print newspapers. Depending on the internet serves only one purpose, and that is to insulate the reader from society, and accepting anything seen on the screen as truth, gospel and and the only valid point of view from a writer of questionable integrity.

You are the best and please continue with your topics, they are fantastic. It is nice to see your e-mails to give us a different outlook in life and away from the poor economy, war and nonsense.
Feliz ano nuevo full of love and great health.
louis

You are the best and please continue with your topics, they are fantastic. It is nice to see your e-mails to give us a different outlook in life and away from the daily poor economy, war and nonsense.
FELIZ ANO NUEVO full of love and great health.
Louis

Al, you hit the nail on the head, again; “….in their effort to appeal to those who don’t read newspapers…” But I disagree with you that “It won’t be long before they realize their pathetic efforts efforts at redesign aren’t working….” If “they” had an ounce of intelligence or ethical fortitude they’d have realized it by now.
To take your Titanic metaphor one step further, why do you insist upon remaining a crew member?

Screw the newspaper that hunts so desperately for an audience that it panders to the sensational. If you find yourself in a bread (French please) line, you will always have Paris and your blog. Cripes Al, we still enjoy reading you so lighten up a bit. We hate to see you hasten that clot along. Let it get there on it’s own schedule and in the meanwhile let us relish your insights into the unfathomable world of still evolving humanoids. Thank God for the “still evolving” cuz if this is the best we can do, we are truly a huge disappointment. Thanks for putting me on your blog list. Semper Fi

Hello!
I just wanted to say thank you for sending me the link to your blog. I will definitely make it habit to check in on your latest in-sight!

Cheers,
Stephanie

p.s. I am so excited to see a picture of Ms. Cinelli. She looks lovely.

Oh, thank heavens it’s Paula Abdul. I was afraid that in the interest of exhumatory journalism, we were going to revisit Paula Jones — remember her? Remember THAT nose? Ah-HA, yeah, see, you cringe too, don’t you! All things considered, I don’t even want to contemplate what is or has been up there.

When the L.A. Times puts a grabber above the fold on page 1 like ‘Headless Torso Found in Toppless Bar,’ then maybe I’ll start reading the Grey Lady again!

Yer pal, Ferrari Bubba

Well I thoroughly enjoyed your “blog”. I even had to look up “thoroughly” as I hadn’t used the word in written form in a while.Does anyone use a dictionary?

The only comment I have is”does anyone else know who Mamie Van Doren is?? or was??” Recent history, let alone current events, do not seem to be the current young generation thing. I am glad that you can remind me of all the “old” stuff. What ever happened to Jack Armstrong,The All American Boy?? Keep on “blogging” or whatever.

I am almost old enough to remember “what ever happened to ____???

Amen, brother Al.

This is the writing of the Al Martinez I know and love! Though I read your Monday columns in the California section of the “L.A. by God Times” regularly — they pale in comparison to this “right on the nose” (not Paula Abdul’s) commentary. Thanks for the photo of the charming Cinelli, and the bio — I think perhaps you omitted one obvious outstanding quality she must possess: infinite patience. Meanwhile, God bless you and your family. May you thrive and prosper in the coming year(s), always your devoted reader, SP

Newspapers seem to keep shrinking every day and I find one thing after another missing. The Times still has my favorite columnists on the editorial page, but other features seem to be missing.

Sorry to see the depths papers are sinking to in order to survive. My sister was an editor/journalist for the St. Petersburg Times and they eliminated her job (after cutting her back in phases, lastly to a once a week article). But this reflects what’s happening to all papers such as the Times and Chicago Tribune. Higher costs, less circulation.
The question to you is are the papers going the way of the buggy whip? Everyone is going online for their news. Is there a way a decent paper can survive without dumbing down its content to the tabloid level crap? Should the papers bother or just say the hell with it?
Me, I think I’ll have a glass of wine and do the crossword.
Jeff

Thank you, Al, for doing this one. Imagine how I feel these days as a former journalism “professor” (for decades)—actually deluding young, impressionable students into pursuing a mere shadow of what you and I both once believed to be a profession to be proud of. (He said, ending the sole sentence in the paragraph with a preposition.)

Oh Elmer,
This one made me cry. We won’t need “Firemen” to stamp out literature. There won’t be any books to burn. What will the poor budgies do when there are no more newspapers for their cages? Without Doonesbury and your column - life will not be worth the effort.

Well…who knows what is ahead, but your success has been with your honesty and dealing with real issues so succinctly and potently. When you try to dumb down your writing to suit what it seems “they” want, you lose some of what is you that you have given us for years. Your recent article about the gun thing at Davis was YOU! And it got a lot of us out there responding. Your main audience, in my opinion, has been us somewhat intellectual, caring, thoughtful, active liberals and “moderates.” Also people who appreciate your wry sense of humor - such a necessity for survival.
The thought of losing our papers scares the hell out of me, but I am aware it is probably a reality. It is not only that I do not like to get my info from the TV and particularly the internet alone. It is the power and freedom of the press that has been the backbone of our country - our world. I have watched it float away like wisps of smoke. It is there and then gone and too many scarcely notice or give a hoot.
When it is gone there will be this terrible void. These things make me feel quite old and I am only 66. Tilda

I too would hate to see newspapers grasp for salvation by seeking the lowest common denominator. The Web and TV are fine for up-to-the-minute news, but I depend on the L.A. Times to provide necessary background, perspective, and interpretation. This is where talented journalists really shine. If newspapers could capture readers at the college level and become an integral part of students’ lives, they might at least hold on to this educated readership. And such people might be willing to pay a bit more than the current subscription rate, thereby reducing the dependence on advertising. The general public and readers of tabloids may not sustain mainstream newspapers even if they are ready to compromise journalistic standards. So then they lose their soul as well as their business.

Thank You, Oh Bard of Topanga, Ayahull, or however the heck I spelled it last time. . . .it has to sound like AAAyyaaaahhlll,. . .not whiney, but “hey, listen. . .”

You prove that there is yet some sanity in this weary ole world. Happy New Year to you and yours. And thanks! You make life better.

Sincerely,
Therese Whitney
riverstars@yahoo.com

Yep, it’s all about dumbing down, ain’t it Elmer?
By the way, she looks way too young for you. Maybe that’s why you’ve had a few health scares over the years, from trying to keep up with such a young woman. Watch yourself, big-E!

Al:

You’re right on track. Like I don’t know how any one can say “like” so many times in a single sentence. Your barbs are on target. Just look at the dumbed down movie fare and tv shows. I like reading a few newspapers in the morning.

Keep up the good work,

Tom Pincu

It is sad but true that fewer and fewer people read a newspaper. The young don’t have the time, or patience. They can learn all they need to know on their Blackberries. Why do newspapers keep sending the reader to a web site for more information or more pictures? It’s like planning their own funeral. I used to hate all the advertisements in the paper. Now I realize they keep papers in business.
Keep writing your column in a newspaper. I look forward to reading it!

Al Martinez has been and will continue to be one of the few things worth reading in todays world.

jb

I subscribe to the Times, primarily because of your column, a few others that I appreciate and the comic pages. Once upon a time there were many, many columnists, essayists who could write about an issue for more than one or two short articles. Oh well, there are still news magazines.

Al,
The illustration accompanying your columns is nice enough. You certainly seem wise and thoughtfully alert but that may be the problem. You should instead pose for the artist tastefully nude, at your typewriter, from the rear and with a crazed look on your face reminiscent of Terry Jones’ nude piano player from Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Naked insanity attracts readers by the thousands and a few nonreaders willing to pay you for sex, who can be directed to Sam Zell’s office.

Al,
The Time’s artist illustration accompanying your columns is very well done. You certainly seem wise and thoughtful, but this appearanc may not be helpful. You should instead be drawn tastefully nude, from the rear, at the typewriter or keyboard, with a maniacal grin on your face reminiscent of Monty Python’s Terry Jones’ nude piano player. Naked insanity attracts readers by the thousands as well as a few nonreaders willing to pay for sex, who can then be directed to Sam Zell’s office.

Dear Al,

Can’t agree with your “take” that the “Face of Hatred” in Mumbai engendered by the Iraq war.

This country saw that face quite well on 9/11 with Bush one year in office.
The ends and means of muslim extremist terrorism well established; your flights of political fancy to the contrary-sorely lacking factual foundations. (I write this assuming you ARE NOT one of the loonies naming George Bush and/or Israel as co-conspirators in the 9/11 bloodshed).

Wishing you and your loved ones a safe, healthy and providential NEW YEAR-Stuart

P.S. Tried “Vermont” but from our experience, doesn’t approach Joes on any of the “key” levels except perhaps service being uniformly excellent.

Happy New Year!

If that’s what it takes to keep newspapers going, we will be descending into a cultural wasteland that could shock T.S. Eliot.

Let’s hope for the best.

Mark

I would like to receive your “blog”, whatever that is! Can’t get enough of you just one day a week in the LATimes.

Happy New Year to you and your caretaker.
Pamela Osborn
Lompoc (yes, there’s life in Lompoc)

Al:

Please don’t cater to semi-literacy. I belong to what is called “Generation Jones”. (I used to call my cohort Generation Zero before I found out that politicos and ad demographers already had a name for us.) We felt no pressure to make grades because the threat of the draft had been lifted for us born after 1955. We were not required to write coherently, spell correctly, do arithmetic (much less algebra), think critically, or bear hardships. We were not prepared for citizenship. We made a lot of very stoopid choices as adults.

As adults, we followed gurus; watched Oprah, chased about looking for Higher Powers to submit to; read Marianne Williamson; and sat mesmerized in front of CNN and Fixed News. We didn’t question or doubt. It was so easy for the thieves to rob the house as we watched them do it.

Stupidity is very beneficial to whomever seeks control over a population of people. As I say, don’t cater to semi-literacy. Challenge the young. Make them figure out what you have to say.

-JPK

I am SO disapointed that your colomn will no longer appear in the Times. The paper has really become more and more diappointing in this last year and it is unfortunate that they are eliminating your wonderful writting.
Everytime I receive my bill from the newspaper I wait longer to send a check. This might be the the time to consider delaying the bill forever.
You will be missed. Unfortunatly all newspapers are on the way to becoming history and as a senior citizen that doesn’t enjoy looking at my computer to get the news, I guess in the future I will sip a cup of coffee in the morning while starring at the wall.
Good luck to you and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me all these years.
Bruce Fane
Encino

How very sad! I’ve read your books and followed your column for years and will miss your insightful excellent writing. Will continue to look forward to your blog and will let the Times folk know my sentiments!

Hi Al, I am so sorry to hear this news just as we are about to begin the next chapter in our history.

Will you continue to send updates from your Blog so we can hear from you, and hear from the Al we have come to know and love, one who always seems to make me laugh and cry while reading the same column each week.

I will certainly miss you and hope that if you continue to Blog you can send out the email every Monday.

Here’s to better health and more martinis with Vodka and 5 olives.

Here’s to you and yours. Thank you for sharing your life for so many years.

Cheryl Anker

Those of us that are 79 have a foundness for our years that is deserved. I do think I am entitled to advise an ex Marine as to what worked out for my wife Joan and me.
Go to Secure Horizons. They do have new owners, but, they have taken care of our medical needs very well for 14 years. We have had several serious medical problems.
Know that you are the heir to many great reporters on the Trib, the Examiner, the Chronicle and the Los Angels Times and Mark Twain. It is from them that I learned that for every bad thing in California history there are 10 things that are hilarious. Where else would we have an actor governor sleeping with a Kennedy Dedmocrat.

Hi Al, I am so sorry to hear this news just as we are about to begin the next chapter in our history.

Will you continue to send updates from your Blog so we can hear from you, and hear from the Al we have come to know and love, one who always seems to make me laugh and cry while reading the same column each week.

I will certainly miss you and hope that if you continue to Blog you can send out the email every Monday.

Here’s to better health and more martinis with Vodka and 5 olives.

Here’s to you and yours. Thank you for sharing your life for so many years.

Cheryl Anker

You’re right Al. While the battle cry of the French Revolution may have been “Storm the Bastille!” The battle cry of the new millennium seems to be: “Find the lowest common denominator!” And, the lower it goes, the lower we get.
This rallying cry of commercialism invades our entire culture. But in retrospect, I guess it’s been coming for a long time. Whereas in the 50’s the heroes in the “B” science-fiction movies were young scientists, now it seems to be the Pop heroes are “thug gangstas” riding around in fancy cars rapping about impregnating “bitches” and shooting niggas who “f” with them.
But then again, maybe I’m being unfair to contemporary culture. Perhaps I’m just too old to understand the real depth of it.

Every Monday I search whatever section of the paper the Al Martinez column is to be found this year for his always worth reading squib. I know newspapers are down-sizing, leaving out, cutting back, but this is ridiculous. Who do I have to contact at the times to complain louldly? The Times might like to know I am a native born Angeleno and have read the LA Times since I was 6–a very long time ago. What are you trying to do? Force me to subscribe to the New York Times instead? Grr.

If the LA Times is dumbed down any lower it will be in the category of the “Weekly Reader” for kindergardeners. I may finally be forced to go back to my home-town paper, the NY Times!
I find it difficult to envision the end of print journalism. However, since I passed my 90th birthday recently, not to worry.
Please, Al, don’t ever surrender.

This is why I continue to subscribe to the LA Times.

Al Martinez’ insight and intelligence and humor are a much needed voice of craft in this era of advertisement and three syllable words.
Long may he wave, and long me we have the pleasure of his thoughts.
The day he leaves the Times is the day I do too.

Sincerely, Amanda McBroom

Hi there, Mr. Martinez,

So very sorry to learn that the LA Times has cut you loose. How truly stupid of them! Your column has been one of the main reason why we have continued our subscription to the old rag.

Steve and I have been loyal fans of your writing for years. As oldtimer newspaper freaks, we’ve been faithfully renewing our monthly submission, as more and more of our favorite columnists, political cartoonists, etc., have disappeared from the roster. As the quantity of staff writers has shrunk and the volume of ads has ballooned out of all proportoin, for the first time in my life I have started to consider stopping subscription to a paper we’ve been devotedly receiving fro the past 12 years. Certanly it would reduce the amount of paper recycling quotient in our house. Still I don’t want to be the cause of any local poblication source going bankrupt.

Just want you to know how much your columns have meant to us down here behind the Orange Curtain in Fountain Valley, SoCal. Many laughs, lots of shared joys, pain, and sadly the growing devastation of all that I thought this nation was suposed to stand for in the eyes of fellow citizens and the entire world.

I leave you with a quote from Rep. Rangell (D-NY). When asked his opinion of Pres. George W. Bush, he replied “I guess he certainly has destroyed the myth of white superiority.”

Keep up the good work, amigo! I’ll be checking in on your blog-talk regularly.

Wishing you a productively Happy New Year,

Cheers,

Luise Perenne BFA
Chaos Ltd. (”But Not Very!”)

I will miss you. Hope you get a new gig. LLP

PS. Also 79 and say ‘gig’.LLP

Al:

I just received your e-mail. I’m sorry the cheap bastards cut you off. My offer of lunch or dinner still stands. Now that you will have some time, perhaps we can get together.

I will miss your writing. Your columns cut to the core of the issue.

Sincerely,

Tom Pincu

Who could have foreseen the direction that newspapers have taken. My wife and I read the L. A. Times and the Ventura County Star. We have noted with sadness the reductions. The pages have become smaller. The pages have become fewer. The content has deteriorated as proofreaders and cut-and-paste compositors were put out to pasture and spellchecker programs and the economies of computer processing were introduced. Almost daily we lament the sloppy use of vocabulary, grammar or the faulty reference to direction or relative position that appear in newspaper accounts.

We are sorry to hear of the shabby treatment you are receiving at the hands of the Times. We will continue to follow your exploits on your blog.

Congratulations on your semi-retirement.

Don’t worry Al, another year or so and print journalism will join the “Vanity Press”. Here’s the way it goes. Readership will continue to decline until the writing is limited by the 3rd grade. However, third graders won’t spend their lunch money on Newspapers as long as “Dr. Seuss” is read to them by the substitute teachers. Substitute teachers because after the district staff is paid, they won’t be able to afford full time teachers.
Now, here’s where the vanity press comes into the picture. The publishers will continue reducing salaries etc. until said salaries etc. get to $0.00. At which point “Journalists” will be expected to pay (by the column inch) to have their material published. Position, front page, above/below the fold etc. will be up for auction.

Love this article! Sadly, the Times is going down this same lowly path.

it’s no coincidence that Times’ subscriptions are in the toilet. 13 year-olds don’t read newspapers–duh! if print goes the way of the dynasaur, it’s simply suicide. meanwhile, the internet is available to all. thanks for blogging, Al.

My major was not English or literature. It was business management, so I deconstruct the above commentary thus: Americans believe in management from the top down. Just being on the top spot is proof that the person is a genius or otherwise worthy to hold that position.

The Japanese manage by consensus the from bottom up. If a CEO has a hot idea for doubling the size of sales or cutting the cost of production, he must somehow find an underling in the mail room, perhaps, and subtly suggest that person float an idea, oh, just any idea, any crazy idea, maybe like doubling sales or cutting production costs, like oh, for instance thus or so…

That idea has to filter upward through each layer of supervisors until it reaches the top, and has been vetted by every employee who wants the company to succeed. Bottom up seems to work well for their business. I don’t know if Japanese newspapers work that way, though.

Dear Al,
What a sign of the detereoration of journalism and our written word.

So sorry, not only to lose you, but about the way they can do that to a talent like you without explanation.

After all you have meant to so many people.

I truly am disgusted with them, and sorry that you are having to e xperience this kind of treatment.

Norma Jeanne Strobel
strobelnj@sbcglobal.net

PS: I have managed to have published some Op-eds, with my writing partner, over twenty times during this last year, and I have no talent compared to you. It is a thrill for me, since in junior high, high school, and junior college in the ’40s I edited the school paper, wrote columns, and then gave up journalism until now. But your writing is so treasured by so many people. Keep bloging for us.

Thanks for keeping the light burning. But face it. ..at 79 you’re getting old. I won’t be 79 till Feb. 1. Charlie Ericksen, Hispanic Link

RE: “I have assumed the slouch and cool disdain of today’s young men, wearing my pants low enough to expose half of my behind and a T-shirt emblazoned with a series of suggestions of what you can do if you don’t like it.”

Hee, hee! ;-D

Pictures please! Preferably taken in the lobby of the Times Building itself! ;-D

I just read that the Seattle Lost Intelligence, the oldest paper in town, could fold soon.

Your thoughtful, heartfelt, angry and, yes, very funny, essay is something that those concerned about the future of the local Newspaper should read.

damn al, you were one of only two reasons to visit this once great newspaper, it’s been going downhill since big Otis left. i will miss your wit. wisdom and eloquence ( not too bad for an old marine). my best to you and cinelli.

al, the other reason is steve lopez. how long will he last in sam zell’s world. this from don in mobile, al (still looking for sin down here)

Seems the other shoe finally dropped. Just wonder how long it will be before my other faves such as Sandy Banks and Steve Lopez are cut from the staff as well. Good luck, Al. Definitely will be watching for you on the internet.

Al, very sorry to read this news. I will write the paper to express my sentiments regarding the decision.

Sorry also to have found your column such a short time ago. Looked forward to your thoughts and words each Monday morning, and I’ll miss that.

Thank you and all the best to you and your family.

You will be sorely missed. Economics seems to ‘top’ the list in every venue of our world today. Santa Barbara has lost a fine local paper and the line-up of major papers is growing that soon will find themselves obsolete as well
. Perhaps the real problem you suggest is found in the words of Henry David Thoreau who said, “the values of one generation are abandoned by others like stranded vessels upon the sand” which, in spite of what is now plainly observable, provides us with hope in the fact that not all youth are blind to change and charmed by false gods.
Growing older and becoming more of a silent observer offers opportunities to evaluate our small successes in influencing others to value the real treasures contained in our society. Your work has contained meaning great warmth and human values that will not be forgotten.

Our world according to Friedman has become hot-flat- crowded and many changes will be made — one way or another. Hopefully our teachings will not be totally lost upon the sands of time and Obama and his youthful supporters will be successful in charting the way.

Best wishes.

I’m sorry to hear the news but not surprised; it’s all Rupert Murdoch’s fault, may he rot in hell!

The “dumbing down of America” has been one of my pet peeves but there seems to be nothing we can do to prevent it. We CAN voice our opinions but we are outnumbered in this fight.

I will miss your column.

Al: I wrote the first time the Times tried this and called the editor a “dumb shit.” It seemed to work. They kept you on. I’m attempting to think of something more effective than “dumb shit.” Give me a day or two. Al, I started working on a newspaper in 1941 at 16 and I still grind out columns for a football publication called “USC Report.” Pretty bad stuff, but I’m still trying. Anty suggestions beyond dumb shit? Best, Loel Schrader, Palm Desert, CA

One doesn’t stop fighting when a (good) commander retires.

The American Revolution continues… in battling the greed, corruption, betrayal and division embraced by King George and his minions.

And though it’s almost always an uphill struggle, maybe change has come…

You’ll watch it, Mr. Martinez, from the bleachers with the rest of us. I’ll bring the beer…

What a loss! The rapid demise of the daily newspapers should be of great concern to anyone who values a free press along with reporters, editors and publishers who can be held accountable.

You are a valuable and delightful addition to the LA Times. What are they thinking???

Dear L.A.Times:

Your decision to discontinue the Al Martinez colum is a further example of your short sighted attempt to retain subscribers by offering an imitation of a true newspaper. You have slowly but surely emasculated what was once a fine paper. The only thing that keeps you in business, at this juncture, is the fact that you have no true rivals in this area.

You should be ashamed of yourselves for acting as accountants, if you are, and not as journalists, which you should be. If you continue to cut away at what was the cult of the paper, you will lose your readership and the advertisers will follow suit. BAH HUMBUG

I always look forward to your column in the LA Times and I am so sorry to hear you will not be writing it anymore. I will write to them to tell them off! In the meantime, I will enjoy your blog. Take care!

I rarely agreed with your leftish positioning on political matters, but you are a Korea Marine and you were, and are, clear in your exposition of these odd stances you take. For that you have now, and always will have, my high esteem.

With the Times’ shift to the Left after the arrival of our ‘guests’ from Chicago, I figured you had it knocked. But I was wrong. In addition to the editorial board’s new-found inability to to keep editorials [usually pro-Obama or anti-Palin/McCain] out of the News Section, the Times also lost what little good taste that might have exsited before the new denizens of the top floor left O’Hare. Witness: your departure.

Wear the esteem shown you by this pack of ignorant, knuckle-dragging poll-chasers as a badge of honor.

Hi Al,
Yes, mainstream newspapers will have to use lots of exclamation marks.

Al, you will be deeply missed by all your readers. I am drafting a nasty e-mail to the Times management to let them know what I think about their stupid decisions.

Hang in there, and keep writing.

Richard T.

Just read your announcement of the LA Times’ amazing decision regarding your column. Once again, we will forward our outrage toward such short-sided foolishness!

In the meantime, I hope to receive notification of each new blog entry. Write on!

The dumbing down of print media as so incitefully described in your blog is indeed a sad commentary on an unhappy trend, for those of us who actually like to “think” when we read. However, perhaps the only consolation is we can look to the net for intellectual commentary and real news from those sites who care to offer it.

I cancelled my subscription a long time ago- the first time you were let go. But I found your writings on the internet, and that sustains me. You are young and vibrant and exciting and LITERATE, at least to someone like me at 81 years old .

Keep writing.

Barbara

A week after my first grandchild was born I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. After the initial shock and with the assumption that I would die, all I could think about was I would not be part of that lovely child’s life. Here I am 12 years later and I am a part of her life as well as the lives of three other grandchildren. There is hope, Al, but I know the sadness and fear you and your family are feeling. We’re sending positive thoughts and love your way. You’ve been hit with a lot recently.

This is not a surprise. It’s the new LA Times. The non LA Times. The never again LA Times. I’ll read the NYT, and the WP, and your blog. You rock. They haven’t deserved you for some time. I wrote them:

The LA times is like a thrashing, desperate comic who’s ready to try anything, anything, to try to stop the exodus heading for the door. Losing Al Martinez is one last stupid joke.

Silly me. I was assuming they had somebody there who could read.

Cynthia Carle

Love you, Mr. Martinez. Your work is not, will not be, forgotten.
Meanwhile, up here in the Northwest, The Seattle Post-Intelligencer is up for sale by Hearst, with little chance of a buyer. Word from Hearst is that unless the P-I is sold, publication will cease (except perhaps an online version with much smaller staff) within 60 days.

Here we go, again!

What is wrong with these people? The world is screamin’ for words of some logic and realism … some connect to things that go bump in the night, knock the block off the corporate shoulder, find color in a sunset and humor in bodily aging.

We, the simple minded, the lords of laziness, the gurus of the obvious, must find ways to pontificate. We cannot forget how wonderful it is to sit under a giant oak tree and devour a tangy apple.

I saw the full moon burst up from behind the San Bernardino Mountains just after sunset last Saturday. What glory! How massive its size! How could one not feel like he (or she) wasn’t privy to some private, mystic, glace into the inner workings of the cosmos?

For an instant, the economy, the war, politics and media madness went away while I was carried aloft in flight of majesty and beauty.

The storytellers must prevail over the tundra of trivia that covers our days and makes nights sleepless.

One by one, the big media eats the still small voices until the forest is silent. There is a song from Ireland that sings of their long battles … “an eye for an eye until all were made blind.” Is that our eventual pathway?

So … let’s all bring our soap boxes to the town sqaure and await the dawn to tell our stories to those that still have ears to hear and hearts to love.

Al,

I’ve been following you since I lived in L.A. from 1979-1990. I’m sorry to hear about your forced semi-retirement. But, F…. ‘Em, they don’t get it and won’t be around much longer anyway.

Keep up the excellent work and stay young!

Paul

Al

Since I retired a few years ago, I have fixed the morning cofee, fetched the times and read your columns to my wife when they appeaared before she gets out of bed. We discuss your ability to get deep into human relationships and express things is such a beautiful use of words. We wonder how Cinelli puts up with you but have concluded that she does because you two love each other.

We’ll miss you and will tell the Times they have diminished the paper .

Pete and Nancy Parsons

Dear Al Martinez, they don’t know what they’ll miss til it’s gone..I am four
years older than you.. and I keep reading articles that say we can all live to be 150, if we care to.. stem cell replacements etc.
Some of the youngest and smartest people I know, are in their 90’s..Youngsters can’t talk anymore..they are into mind reading..Which incidentally works..
Another, better door will open for you. You are still a kid.
Love,
Peggy Webber

Al, we are all going to miss your columns. But I am glad you will still keep your Blog. Your above article was sharp satiric and very funny. But a real
accurate discription of todays newspapers. I am sorry that the Times is headed in the same direction. The schools are turning out more and more students who can’t read. Soon there will no longer be a need for Newspapers. Sad day. You take care of your self and keep on trucking.

I found your blog while searching for the LA Times letters-to-the-editors-link. I have duly written and told them what I think of the situation, for all that that’s worth, which I imagine is not very much. I can only tell you how much my husband and I have enjoyed your columns over the years, and how much the poetry, wit and wisdom of your prose have stayed with me long after I put the paper down. I am sorry to lose you (and my morning paper!) but am very happy to have found your site.

Heh, WTG! and, naturally, Woot!

Followed you here, thanks for staying in touch and on top of things - I’ve always enjoyed you columns there, and am sure will continue to do so here.

The ‘free’ internet model of news delivery can’t continue forever - something’s got to give. Besides the obivious (sorrowfully, such as your employment, and the entire newsprint business) - and the fact that I have no idea on the internet if what I’m reading has any truth anymore - what other changes do you think are in store for the near term?

I see no solution except less actual news, and more unemployment.

Sadly,
AMW

If the Times wants to play like that, we’ll just read you here. They can’t take your keyboard away! (I will use mine to register a strong complaint too.)

Hi Al,

Though you don’t know me, I’ve long been an admirer of your work. I happen to believe strongly in promoting commentary from the Latina/o perspective. I would love to explore ways to collaborate with you.

All the best,

Marisa Treviño
Publisher of Latina Lista
http://www.latinalista.net

Great stuff as always ! keep it up ! .

Al….

Do you still have an e-mail address? I just sent off my letter to the editor and the blind cc to you came back.

Thanks !

Karla

Sorry to have read your last column. If you ever get antsy and want to sound off on anything - we’d love to feature you on our editorial page. Also, if you get tired of retirement, I’m always a good pigeon for a lunch! Good luck - Rodger Sterling,
Valley News Group

PS - sorry this is so late. Couldn’t open your zip drive. Can you send the release as a Word document? Thanks!~

Al… great job writing for the past upteen years in the LA Times and I hope you’ll be writing for all of us fans for umpteen more! I looked forward to your column and I wrote countless letters of complaint to the stupid editors when this “phase out Al” campaign started.
I teach creative writing at the UCLA Extension and always referred my students to your column - we will all miss you.
We’ll all keep up with your blog.
Keep up the great work of thinking and crafting and writing so beautifully!

Dear, Dearest Friend (if I may be so “forward”…cuz that’s how you make us feel when reading your articles…and many others, I’m sure, respond and feel the same as we do),…anywhos, much belated but all the same, our (husband, Craig, and I) response to the L.A. Times for letting you go AGAIN, MADE US FEEL SO ANGRY AND DISAPPOINTED WITH THEIR DECISION, THAT WE SIMPLY CANCELLED OUR SUBSCRIPTION!!!
YUP!!! HOW DARE THEY? DIDN’T THEY LEARN FROM THE FIRST TIME??? So like all the other thousands of saddened readers/loyal fans of yours, we will ADJUST (and REadjust) to another CHANGE IN OUR LIVES…THIS TIME FOR THE WORSE…BUT WE SHALL OVERCOME (eventually)!
We shall definitely “BE IN TOUCH” via your blog, cuz we ain’t saying adios/sayonara/adieu…but instead tell you that you’ve been a GREAT PART OF OUR LIVES, AND WE MISS YOU TERRIBLY. AND I WILL TELL YOU AGAIN IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THAT IF EVER…EVER YOU AND YOUR TERRIFIC WIFE COME TO THE DESERT (NOW is a great time to visit the desert…), it would truly be a PLEASURE AND HONOR TO HAVE YOU TWO (and any pets cuz we’re ‘pet people’) visit and join us for cocktails and a fun dinner in our home…or lunch…whatever your pleasure. We live in Sun City Palm Desert. We’d be DELIGHTED!!! Pls pass this invitation to Cinelli (probably misspelling her name…sorry!), cuz she just MIGHT say: “Why Not? They can’t be ALL BAD IF THEY’VE BEEN READING YOU FOR ALL THESE YEARS!!”
Regretably and Most Fondly,
Aiko and Craig (recently lost 2 beloved cats)
Sat/Jan 24th-2009
(760) 360-9234
aiko2craig@earthlink.net

I finally get up the nerve to write to you at the Times after years of enjoying your column and observing from the outside all the goings ons with Cinelli and the family and Its Over… Shocked
So I will keep up with the Blog
Annie

Thank God for blogs…now we won’t have to go without your unique perspective on life! Am looking forward to reading all you can give us.

Please include me for your writers workshop in Topanga…my phone number is 323-424-2695…

Al, a little bit of the LA Times dies with your departure. I’ve enjoyed reading you and perhaps another resurrection lies ahead.

Hugh

Dear Al,
After much consideration I decided to stay a subscriber of the Times even though they canned the best columnist in it for a lot of reasons:
1. I have always read the Times, for most of my 67 years since I could read.
2. I love newspapers, and would would hate to contribute to their demise by withdrawaing my support, even though it is one subscription.
3. My husband really likes the funny papers.
4. I get the real news from the Christian Science Monitor

I remember when both the Times and the Examiner were delivered in the morning, and the Herald was an evening paper, and cost only 2 cents. We had such a choice in those days The Espress, The Mirror, as well as local papers such as the Southwest Wave.

I gusee we are becoming either more illiterateor less interested in actual news..

As recently as the 80’s the Times had writers who would regularly do a whole scholarly series about a subject and it ran for several days.

I will look forward to you blogs continuing and will enjoy them since you are free of the constraints recently imposed both by subject, spelling and grammar.

May you and lovely Cinelli enjoy Topang sunrises and sunsets, your love and loyalty forever,

Rosella

I am so happy I did not lose you! I will faithfully read you blog.Thank you! I wrote to The Times but my e-mail was ignored. Not surprised.

Dear Friend…Glad your back in some incarnation…As ever cece gordon

With you and your family in prayer.

glad you are blogging.
Hannah Almstead, Encino

Please keep blogging so we can read your pithy commentary, which was one of the few assets still left at The Times until recently…

When and where will you teaching the art of a sentence?

How could the Times treat their best columnist this way? I will certainly write to them and encourage others to oppose your “nudging out”. I was sad when the column only appeared once a week. Please keep on writing. Look forward to your next book and possible appearance at UCLA Bookfair in April.

As the once venerable Los Angeles Times sinks into the frigid depths of Sam Zell impotence, maybe, Al, you’re better off at a comfortable distance in a lifeboat, hopefully with navy grog and Talullah Bankhead aboard.

Al, as much as I am grieving your no longer writing for the LAT, I am so grateful for your gift of this blog. Thanks a million. I do love your writings and so appreciate your sense of humor in these difficult times.
All my best to you and Cinelli. (Anne)

As always, you said it all. Now that I’ve got my new ocmputer figured out (more or less) I’ll be checking in often. Mondayornings just aren’t the same without you.

Maybe it’s time for all of us to return to the days of Vaudeville. With all the doom and gloom around us, a little levity can’t hurt.

I think it was H. L. Mencken who made the comment about “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public”. Otherwise, why would papers waste ink on subjects such as Paris Hilton or Britney Spears? It’s not just newspapers; TV seems to have gone downhill over the last 20 years. One of the things that really bugged me was the coverage in the papers of “The Sopranos” series (Which I couldn’t watch even if I wanted to because we don’t have cable). Those shows glorified gangsters! hoodlums! I found the whole idea sickening! If it were up to me, people who provide the prototypes/models for programs like this would be taken out and shot, along with a large assortment of other scumbags who infest our world.